MEGA says: if supermarkets want the warm glow of looking kind to older people, they should offer the discount properly, clearly and everywhere — not hide it like the last parking space in Days Bay.
Senior citizens have earned clarity. They survived dial-up internet, Muldoon, and supermarket music. They can survive anything except fine print at checkout
anything to go with it.
There are moments in politics when incompetence walks into the room wearing a lanyard, carrying a clipboard, and asking for a press conference.
This is one of them.
The issue is brutally simple. Official vaccine advice existed warning against making two Covid vaccine doses mandatory for 12–17-year-olds. The Royal Commission found ministers were not shown that advice before the mandate decision was made. Chris Hipkins now says he did not see it when it mattered.
That is not the escape hatch he seems to think it is.
Because if the Minister for Covid-19 Response did not see key Covid-19 advice before major Covid-19 decisions were made, then what exactly was he responding to? The weather? The vibes? A laminated flowchart from the Ministry of “She’ll Be Right”?
And where was Jacinda Ardern, our former High Priestess of Kindness and Daily Television Certainty? We were told this was the Government of science, caution, compassion and world-leading competence. Now we are asked to believe that important advice about teenagers, mandates and medical risk somehow failed to reach the people making the decisions.
So which is it?
Either they knew and pushed ahead anyway, or they didn’t know and were running the country’s biggest public-health machinery with the dashboard lights switched off. Neither option screams competence.
This was not a minor paperwork hiccup. The disputed advice related to teenage vaccination mandates, clinical benefit, and risks such as myocarditis. The deeper report says the Royal Commission criticised the decision process because that advice should have gone to ministers before mandates were imposed.
Hipkins’ defence is basically: “I wasn’t told.”
Fine. Then the MEGA verdict is: you should have been.
And if you were not, that is a failure of Government. A failure of process. A failure of leadership. A failure of the same smug machinery that spent years telling New Zealanders to trust the experts — while apparently misplacing the experts’ advice somewhere between the printer and the podium.
New Zealanders were asked to comply. Parents were asked to trust. Teenagers were pulled into a mandate system. Businesses, schools and families were forced to navigate rules delivered with enormous certainty.
Now the answer is: “Oops, we may not have seen the important bit.”
That is not accountability.
That was government by fog machine.
MEGA says: publish the discharge locations, publish the monitoring results, explain the long-term replacement plan, and tell the public why the shared pathway was not used as the once-in-a-generation chance to future-proof the Hutt Valley’s wastewater system.
Five Days of Food Panic
New Zealand has entered the sacred national ritual of pre-panic shopping: not quite panic buying, more “quietly putting six tins of beans in the trolley while pretending it’s normal.”
Fuel prices rise, supply chains wobble, and suddenly everyone becomes a bunker chef with a loyalty card.
Experts say there is no need to panic.
Naturally, this means half the country will now buy rice, pasta, toilet paper, batteries, canned tuna and enough Weet-Bix to reinforce a retaining wall.
MEGA says: calm down, New Zealand. But maybe grab an extra tin of spaghetti. Just in case civilisation ends before dinner.
The Easter Bunny: Official Chocolate Fraud
Every Easter, adults tell children a giant rabbit has broken into the garden and left chocolate eggs.
Apparently, this is tradition, not a police matter.
The Easter Bunny joins Santa, the Tooth Fairy, flying French church bells and other approved childhood nonsense designed to create wonder, joy and mild sugar poisoning.
MEGA approves.
Unlike most public promises, the Easter Bunny actually delivers — no consultation, no working group, no delay, no “lessons have been learned.”
Yes, it’s a lie.
But it ends with chocolate, which puts it well ahead of council timelines and election pledges.
New Zealand now has a simple choice.
National says the government machine is too fat, too slow and too expensive — so tighten the bolts, cut the waste, and get it moving again.
ACT says bring a chainsaw.
Labour says the machine only needs more money, more committees, more departments, more slogans, and possibly another minister for explaining why nothing works.
The Greens want to rebuild the whole thing out of recycled timber, compulsory feelings and taxpayer-funded optimism.
NZ First wants to pull it apart live on talkback and ask who sold the screws to foreigners.
Te Pāti Māori wants to redesign the ownership papers entirely.
MEGA’s view? New Zealand does not need another grand sermon from the people who helped turn basic services into a national waiting room.
It needs competence, discipline, fewer excuses, and a government that remembers taxpayers are not an unlimited ATM with legs.
Vote for repair. Not more waffle in a hi-vis vest.
Eastbourne and the Bays have a dog situation.
Not a problem. A situation!
Every morning, the seafront becomes a moving census of Labradors, terriers, schnauzers, spaniels, designer fluff-balls and elderly dogs with more social standing than most councillors.
The humans think they are “walking the dog.” This is false. The dogs are conducting property inspections, diplomatic meetings and urgent sniff-based infrastructure assessments.
A normal Eastbourne conversation now goes:
“How are you?”
“Fine. How’s the dog?”
“Better than us. He’s got a beach, a raincoat and private healthcare.”
MEGA believes dogs may already control the Bays. They know the walking routes, the gossip, the weak fences, the biscuit houses, and exactly which human carries treats.
Council should stop pretending and simply appoint a Canine Community Board.
At least then someone might finally get the Shared Path finished. (Days Bay)
Chef Gordon Ramswine
The pig with a palate sharper than his tongue. Known for turning slop into haute cuisine and never holding back on a fiery snort of criticism, Ramswine runs the kitchen like a battlefield. His signature dishes? Swine-dine perfection, seasoned with equal parts brilliance and barnyard bite.
Each month he delivers a new and original offering for you to try. If you like the dish then please let us know.
Gordon Ramswine’s
MEGA MAY RECIPE
By Chef Gordon Ramswine
Harbour Fog Kumara Coins with Wasabi Pea Dust, Smoked Mussel Cream & Pickled Apple
MAY 2026 Our MEGA Hors d’Oeuvre.
What it is:
A small, sharp, salty, smoky New Zealand-style bite. Looks fancy. Eats like a coastal ambush.
Meet Stuffed.Kiwi — where our music lives, our videos escape to, and original Stuffed Kiwi productions do their thing.
No messaging. No meaning. Just fun.
We’re not a political party—just a bunch of locals with a low tolerance for waffle and a high tolerance for mischief. MEGA is part neighbourhood fix-it crew, part satire squad, and part spontaneous parade.
No jargon. No committees. Just Eastbourne, steering its own ship—with a kazoo in one hand and a to-do list in the other.
For the full MEGA experience, visit our website on something bigger than your phone.
© Copyright 2026 M.E.G.A. - All Rights Reserved - Make Eastbourne Great Again Inc.
Join the MEGA-VERSE:
The MEGA Management & Crew is looking for more members to join our organisation.
Also Join our Facebook Group [ icon click on the right ] and contribute to the conversation.
It's Free. No Censorship. No Judgement (almost).
Help us Make the MEGA-VERSE Even Bigger Than It Is Already.